fork your sausage and kill the earth to save your sanity!

okay, so the title probably leaves me with a little explaining to do…

…so, we’ll go in order.

i thought i was doing the right thing. i really, really did. but i can’t do the right thing any longer ’cause it’s getting on my last fucking nerve. no, doing the right thing is not what’s getting on my nerves – it’s what i had to put up with while trying to do the right thing. fuck, this is getting confusing – a picture is worth a thousand words, so let’s go with that first and foremost…

see, my least favorite chore on the planet is dishes – couple that with the sediment in the drain pipe going off my kitchen sink (seriously – i couldn’t even get my drain snake down more than two inches (no sexual comments on this, por favor) so what the fuck do i do now?) and the fact that i can never figure out how the fuck you get between fork tongs really, really well (do they make fork floss?) and i decided, “fuck dishes, i’m living off paper plates and plasticware ‘cept for when i have company (which never happens) so it made sense. the paper plates and solo cups work grand, and i get to feel like i’m kickin’ in to the local landfill…and don’t we all love to participate? but my plasticware choice didn’t fly.

the box is made from recycled paper – the forks, spoons and knives are all made from recycled plastic. plus, they have that cool “cut out” design on the handle but the package assures me that they “are super strong while using even LESS plastic!!!”.


every fork in this pack broke, and typically not while i was even eating – while i was getting READY to eat (i.e. cutting up meat before i nuke it, stabbing enchiladas to pull them out of the pan before re-heating, etc) then i’d have to use a second (or half a fork, where that cool “cut out handle” now gets to stab you in the palm). totally sucks. so, anybody have a good plasticware recomendation? still comitted to my “no dishes” policy, but i’d like to get a full single use out of a forkin’ fork – is that asking too forkin’ much?