kick you in the gut, kick you in the brainus (a split sixer)

in fourteen years of doing this site, i’ve never done this…

…not that that’s BAD, per say – i’ve just never done it.

split a sixer, that is.

i had two cool ideas for sixers, but could only come up with four for each, and looking at ’em one of the four was pretty fucking lame. so in an effort to maintain an “all killer, no filler” site at least most of the time, i’m splitting the topics into three and three.

the gut kick

admittedly this first part is actually pretty healthy, but this is me pointing out three fast food items in big chains that, to be honest, are kind false advertising. the one from friday that started it was:

power-chicken

the chicken is simply listed as “grilled chicken”, just like they have on every other fucking salad they currently offer, save for the ones that are meatless. what makes this “POWER” chicken? i asked at three different locations and nobody knew. kinda like the old days when i asked about this one…

monstertaco

it was 3am on a sunday morning and me and my buddy james are in the jack in the crack drive-thru. i ask if the chicken sandwich is made from chicken. they said “yes”. i ask if the potato wedges are made from potato. again, they said “yes”, but a little more annoyed. so i asked what kind of monster the “monster taco” was made from. i guarantee they spit in the food that night. i didn’t order anything. james was pissed. not my first foray into fucking with fast food folk. no, that came fifteen years later with the introduction of…

SONY DSC

SONY DSC

the mcrib, which wikipedia describes as “a barbecue-flavored pork product sandwich” which i think is still kind pushing it. the guarantee is no ribs were touched in the making of this sandwich. and while it DOES advertise itself as “boneless” i found a bone chunk in mine when i was little and took it up to the counter to ask about it. we got a STACK of free meal coupons as hush money. that was a mcdonald’s-filled year!

and now…

the brainus kick

here’s my goal for 2020. let’s have an election where three things occur:

1. we have at least one candidate that some us actually WANT to vote for. i’m tired of elections where the phrase “lesser of two evils” is uttered so many damn times.

2. we remember we’re electing somebody to a public office, not the papacy. they’re religion is not a factor. period.

and finally…

3. we have at least one candidate that some us actually WANT to vote for. i’m tired of elections where the phrase “lesser of two evils” is uttered so many fucking times.

(yes, i realize the first and third one are the same thing – but it’s a point i really feel needs to be driven home!)

0 comments… add one

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *