why i hate corporate america (a rant) – part i

i guess the second part of the title goes without saying…

…but i need to vent.

so, without my unemployment money things would look pretty bleak for me right now.

“no problemo”, i thought to myself, “my last boss was a penny-pinching son of a bitch (god rest his soul) so coporate america should be a ‘no fuck around’ finance dispersment”.

boy-howdy, was i wrong.

have you ever bought a computer and bought the “cheap-ass, i don’t wanna pay extra, let me talk to somebody i can’t even find on a map after a six pack and a dare” tech support package?

yeah – when they fire you, you deal with the same level of support for this kind of shit…

first off, i was shocked when i logged onto the website for unemployment and saw my check amount for the week…

“$.0.00”

not fucking cool.

then i panicked. called ME. not that she knows anything about the ins & outs of the texas unemployment system, but she’s my emotional “go to” just like i am to her. she said go to the office, you’re probably just reading it wrong. i figured she probably had a point. she’s usually the voice of reason in my world…

…unfortunately, this time, not so much.

turns out i was reading it right – no benny’s for me this week. sure, the tax refund covered the mortgage, so i have a roof over my head. but as far as lights? heat? running water? i’ll be living “la vida amish” within a week or so. not fucking cool.

so, i called work. or “ex-work”, as the case may be. as with any coporate american entity it’s not just A call. it’s many calls. in my case, seventeen or so. thirteen of which answered with the same thing…

i don’t handle that kind of thing any more…

i replied to the last one in a way they didn’t expect…

thank god!!!

the way i looked at it, i now had light at the end of the tunnel – since they had inadvertantly laid off EVERYBODY who dealed with people who were laid off, i saw a job oppurtunity (glass half full, not half empty, right?) but turns out not the case – it’s been outsourced. and when all was said and done the powers that be (which aren’t even the company i work for) claim no paperwork from the state of texas has come their way…

…bullshit.

so, i went BACK to the unemployment office only to be told they “had no idea” and to call one of TWELVE numbers across the great land of texas that all have access to the same information. after four attempts per number (to save you the math, that’s forty-eight FUCKING CALLS) i got the same recording across the board…

“due to unexpected call volume we are unable to process your call…please hang up, and try your call again at a later time…

FUCK!!!!

look for me in a ski mask at a liquor store near you!!! daddy gotta pay some bills!!!