this bit is SO not about what you think it is…
…although i am supposed to meet up with ME today before she moves back to cali, and while we definintely need a send off and half this time, since i probably won’t see her till 2010 at the earliest after this, i don’t think it’s going that way.
i went to the outlet mall the other day with three girls. for most guys this would be a pain, but for me not so much. add in that one of the girls had a sprained ankle and therefore was in a wheelchair, and it should have been a BIGGER pain. for me?
yeah, okay, so that last part was a bit of a pain. but for the most part i hung with one of the girls, and rollergirl and her friend (who pushed her about) went their own way. that was nice. but i re-witnessed three things that are gonna seem mean, but going off what i saw at the mall, need to be re-stated.
(hence the title – sorry for the letdown)
3. bread is bad south of the ankle – if this gives any of you a foot / food fetish idea, please lose my url. it’s simple, girls – if you squeeze your foot into a pump, and your foot is puffed out at the top to where it resembles a loaf of bread a’rising, then you probably don’t need that shoe, let alone in that size.
2. just ’cause it’s there, doesn’t mean it needs to come home – backless. hot. halter top. hot. some see-through action around the middle. VERY hot. in a size 18? not so much. here’s a goot lithmus test, ladies – take me to the mall with you…if it looks sexy, but would fit me, then it probably needs to stay on the hanger (or two) it’s already on. i’m just sayin’.
1. it didn’t change – pretty simple, girls – if you were a size twelve BEFORE the advent of ultra-lowrise jeans, you are a size twelve AFTER the advent of ultra-lowrise jeans. just ’cause they ride a bit lower, giving you that mushroom look in bought in your “new size” eight, doesn’t mean it’s right. only you see that little scrap of cloth hanging over (or in) the crack of your ass on the inside of the jeans…but the WHOLE club sees the spillover.
and now i look like an asshole on a WHOLE ‘nother level, don’t i?