why are your hands still in my pants? (not so back in the black mix)

and the saga continues…

…’cause as of this writing (11ish on friday morning), my bank account is still in the negative through no fault of my own.

i’ve received a “temporary credit” on the illicit charge pending chase’s investigation. the odd one that showed from NYC dropped off, but a $24 charge at a local car wash (i’m assuming for gas?) didn’t. i called chase back on thursday morning and got the philippines AGAIN and they got a little uppity when i said i wanted to speak to an american rep. “we can do everything they can do”, i was told. “yeah, but i’ve called the last three days in a row and was told by you people (yeah, i said it) that all would be fixed and it hasn’t…so after three days of filipino lies i need an american rep or i need to know where the closest branch is i can go cancel my account be done with your bullshit…”.

i was transferred to senior specialist “gregory”. i put that in quotes because i know for damn sure his mama in the philippines didn’t name his ass “gregory” and his accent instantly gave him away, so i had to fuck with him…

this is gregory, a chase senior specialist, you had a question?
“yes, gregory, i did – what amendment is it the gun nuts are always trying to hide behind?”
sir, i don’t understand your question…
“it’s because you’re NOT A FUCKING AMERICAN, gregory – now stop screwing around and get me to an american rep!!!!”

enter matt from ohio. NOT in quotes for good reason.

this is matt with chase customer fraud prevention, how can i help you?
“matt, where are you?”
i’m in ohio…
“…where the state is called the WHAT state?”
the buckeye state
“and in our country all the gun nuts try to say they’re protected by which amendment?”
the second? (sounding puzzled as to why i’d ask)
“hi matt, i’m sean…” (and i explained why i asked)

when all was said and done we found out the little charges (he could still see ’em and their reversals) were done and reversed within thirty seconds of each other and he thought my theory held water. they also showed they were vending machines, and i’ve NEVER used my card in a vending machine, so we KNOW it’s bullshit. he said he could instantly credit the fraudulent charge while the investigation went down (done) but the overdraft fee might take a day or so (still not done) and the new card was on it’s ways, saying the filipino wonder team had put i was “closing my account and no further action was needed” in the notes.


so i’m still setting up a local account today if they’ll have me, and even decided which pic of the wonder wifey (aka the ufc, aka the ufw, aka the ufb) i’ll use for the check card. hopefully this incident is never repeated with the precautions i’m gonna take…

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