what are you – on your cycle or something?

austin is a very environmental city…

…and as it keeps growing, and traffic keeps getting shittier and shittier, more people that live in town are turning to pedal power to get about.

and that’s not a bad thing…or is it?

the problem i have with the rampant cycle population is that a lot of them like to think they’re a car. or have even more of a right of way than one. oh hell, it breaks down like this:

1. move your fat ass – seriously. i don’t understand how some of these folks BIKE every where and stay fat. i’ve got a few pounds on me i could stand to get rid of, and i plan on hopping one of my bikes to help. that being said, i still drive 99% of the time. you ride 99% of the time. jeebus, how much do you eat?

2. are you a car or not? (part i) – i once almost had to beat a cyclists ass for getting in my face after i tailgated him (my front bumper less than a yard from his rear tire) for a half mile or so…why? because he was going seven miles per hour in the middle of a lane. you wanna be a car? you know what i’d do to a chrysler 300 driving under ten miles an hour? tailgate the shit out of it! so, i treated you like a car…don’t be an asshole.

3. use your own space – i hate when there’s an actual dedicated bike lane and cyclists still keep going, blocking traffic, in the normal lane. i don’t have a dedicated convertible lane, but you DO have a dedicated bike lane…use that shit. and for that matter…

4. what’s that on the other side of the curb? – oh yeah, the fucking sidewalk. ever thought of maybe…just maybe…using that instead of the left fucking late of a major traffic artery? just a thought…

5. are you a car or not? (part ii) – i love how they want to have all the rights of a car, EXCEPT waiting in line at an intersection…THEN all of a sudden they can fit in that space between lane and curb and jump up several car lengths to get up to the stop line. if you’re gonna be a car, be a fucking car; or else you can’t bitch at me for riding your ass!

and finally…

6. i’ll be courteous if you be courteous – if you’re gonna coast up past traffic to intersections, or run red lights when traffic is light, then do me a solid and, say, hop up on the sidewalk when you see me getting around you ten yards from a major intersection with a yellow light will help me along. then i’ll be cool to you and not edge you into the curb for being a dick all these other times. don’t for get, cycle boy – “sharing the road” means you have to share it with the motorized vehicles, too…

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