i know i’ve bitched about it before…
…but some things could stand to be repeated some times, you know?
an open letter to “handicapped” illiterates:
first off i put the term in quotes not for YOUR reasons but for mine. sure, a lot of you like to say you’re not “handicapped” you’re “handi-capeable” or “physically disabled” and say you’re “just like me, only more special” and “can do anything i can do” and “just want to be treated like you’re normal”…
…but you sure as fuck don’t want to PARK WHERE NORMAL PEOPLE FUCKING PARK.
and hence the quotes. and for more than one reason, i might add.
most of you motherfuckers with these tags look perfectly healthy. hell, probably look healthier than a lot of people reading this…and walk just as well (if not better). but you twisted your back once in the gym, or sprained your ankle really bad when you were wasted, went through one third the pain i do when my back acts up, and pussed out (and had the right doctor) hence you have a placard.
and don’t get me even started on the fat fucks that get it ’cause they think their size due to nothing glandular, nothing medical, just their inability to stop passing through the pizza buffet line resulting in their obesity that is now, sadly, labeled “handicapped”.
again, in quotes for a reason.
they can read that their hang tag says “handicapped” and lets them park up close. they can read that it has an expiration (if it in fact does) and i’m sure they’re plotting and planning how to get a new one when that dark day arrives. but the one thing they can’t read?
“Do Not Hang From Mirror While Vehicle Is In Motion”
seriously – ever notice that part?
i have to think this thing would get on your nerves, swinging around a foot or more below your mirror while you attempt to pilot your vehicle around the streets – but there was that one time…where all you needed was a pack of smokes…where you forgot to put it on the mirror and got a ticket.
then you had to go to court, and stand easily and able-bodied in front of a judge and try to convince him (or her) that you were actually physically afflicted and deserving of said parking privileges even though deep down you and i both know you aren’t. probably had a bit of anxiety that said judge might actually take take the tag away, and all of a sudden you have to actually LOOK for parking like the rest of us…maybe, if you’re one of “those”, even have to waddle your fat ass a few extra yards to get into ihop.
god for fucking bid.
so you leave it on ALL THE TIME. it obstructs your view and makes you a hell of a lot more dangerous on the road…and you shouldn’t have anything that handicaps (LOL) your driving ability because, after all, you’re “physically challenged” and need all the help you can get piloting a motor vehicle without your limitations causing you to slam into somebody, right?
i think we should make it a ticketable offense (or tag revoking offense) for you people (yes, i said “you people”) to drive around with that jumbo fucker on the hang – and why? because second only to the idiots who can’t drive and talk on the phone at the same time the stupidest maneuvers i see on the road these days all involve people with that shit hanging off their rear view mirror.
and that will be all i say about that…for now.