phonin’ it in, and not for the last time…

a couple times in the whore’s history i’ve gotten lazy…

…although i don’t know if that’s the right word.

by that i mean times when my life has been lame, or my love life depressing, or my job boring, and i really didn’t have anything to write about on here, and so i just “phoned it in” as i call it, where i look at some of the news stories, make a couple lines of comedy about it, and slap the link up there. to me this is being lazy and uncreative…

…but in retrospect, jon stewart and stephen colbert have built their careers off that shit. so maybe it’s not being lazy…just jewish?

anywho, i still get just as much news stories via email, i just rarely turn them into bits any more – but here are six quickies just to purge the ol’ inbox*:

every PS3 geeks dream come true…well, without a naked anime chick

the military is now going to give combat medals to remote drone pilots? as in people that sit miles away from actual combat and wage war via what is, essentially, a deadly video game? and here i thought that shit was just to keep people in the parent’s basement well into their thirties!

free at last! no, for real this time!

mississippi finally ratified the 13th amendment abolishing slavery last month. you may recall this happened back in the 1980’s as well. this makes them the only state to now “free” the slaves (lord knows if this one “took” or not) in THREE separate centuries! and here you thought southerners were backwards…they’re so nice they did it thrice! but if this is the REAL end of slavery doesn that mean my birthday is no longer “a thing”?

take it back to the old school?

so nyc mayor whats-his-nuts has already outlawed tranfats, large sodas, and smoking – now he’s going after something that’s NOT unhealthy – earbuds? what the fuck? well, this is the city that pioneered the movement of the giant boombox on the shoulder, right? time to share the music again, and not in that pirate bay way!

kramer’s wet dream

hey, k-man…seen the retarded pimped apple ipad? even if i win the lottery this would be stupid – gold? diamonds? dinosaur bone bits? fuckin’ seriously? and that’s why we pay four bucks a gallon at the pump, folks…

nothing on the menu had more protein – guaranteed!

i’m not gonna lie – mcdonald’s playscape could probably make the list i wouldn’t mind fucking…after hours, of course. not looking to get sued over therapy bills in a few years. but apparently i’m not the only one who’s thought of it.

i disagree with the nomenclature here…

the headline on the story i was sent says “homeless man STEALS…” but he DID pay for it. granted, only three bucks, but he DID pay for it. in my eyes the people STEALING from us are the providers that charge new customers less than those of us who have been with them for ten years…

*not meant as some phrase about feminine hygene

oh, and since this is posting on easter a bonus “easter egg” (remember when hidden shit on DVDs were called that?)

jesus hammered