hump day double humping

yeah, and if i had posted this yesterday it would have been “tuesday twofer” or something…

…in other words, two little bits that don’t deserve to be their own bit. not that “deserving” is any kind of worthwhile accomplishment, but you get my drift.

text dating?

we’ve all gotten the spam emails from dating websites be it on gmail, hotmail, yahoo, or myspace – but have you ever gotten a dating spam TEXT? i did and it freaked me out! my phone goes off when i’m in a meeting and lists one new text message from an unknown source.

Hey. i learned ’bout you, and I wanted to say hi. Umm, I’m kinda unsure, so why not come check me out online. I have a profile at dating…

and there’s no way to reply…in fact, if you DO try to reply it takes you to some dating website to set up a profile. i have unlimited texts, so this was just a minor annoyance; but can you picture if i had one of those plans to where accessing the web or getting a text would have cost me money? DAMN, i would be pissed off right now…

still drying after all these years

again, if you work in whatever plant makes those “non-touch” towel dispensers for a rest room and you burn it to the ground, get me proof and i’ll get you paid. no bullshit. i don’t know of a more de-evolutionized moment than standing by a bathroom sink waving like a dipshit at the paper towels you want to dry with like some five year old waving bye to his mommy so the machine will spit it out.

okay, so i touched my junk, then my pants, then the urinal flushed itself. very clean so far – but then i put my “dirty” hands on the SINK HANDLE, then my wet, “dirty” hands on the soap dispenser (so we know where, if any germs were transfered, it happened) and then once they’re all clean and pretty i’m not allowed to touch the towels i dry with or crank some handle to get them out? what the fuck? why take touch out of the equation for the one part your hands are clean for? makes no fucking sense to me, but if you can explain it hit the comments section…