decisions, decisions, decisions

i think i might have to start job-hunting soon…

…much as a i love my job, and i constantly tell myself “you’re better off here than anywhere else, even though you don’t make as much as you’d like to, ’cause you’re REALLY happy going to work and that means something”.

that’s true.

but after an experience this weekend i’m not so sure. yeah, i’m still happy when i go to work – but i’m tired of being alone, and i think my job might be a big contributor to it. for one, when you can’t go out friday night, saturday night, or all day sunday finding that “special someone” is almost impossible…i mean, what kind of girl is gonna put up with that shit? the only people that would be cool with it would have to work through the weekend as well, which pretty much limits me to bartenders or waitstaff (that might work) or strippers (no fucking way) or hair stylists? other than that i’m lost as to my options.

the other thing is my saturday – i work a fourteen hour day, and that tends to take a LOT more out of me lately. i don’t know if it’s just ’cause i’m getting older or what, but i get out of that shift and my motherfucking charm is motherfucking drained. add to that i have to caffeinate the shit out of myself to make it through the shift, which means that all through the shift (and for a good chunk afterwards) i’m actually MORE motor-mouthed that usual.

for those who read this and know me personally that is one scary-ass concept.

said overdrive motor-mouth and lack of normal charm put a damper on social stuff this weekend i had high hopes for – which is far from cool. that’s actually the straw on the camel’s back that’s making me think the resume might need to get updated and circulated. i’ll see how long i feel this way, but right now it’s sounding good. while i like being happy when i go to work, if i never have anybody to come home to i’ll never be TRULY happy…and i’m not gonna live at the fucking shop just to be in my happy place, damn it!