jesus would slap you all if he could

“jesus, family, and america”…

…”what does that mean?”

“i don’t know – but they sure go crazy when i say it!”

– opening scene of the campaign

how did they know it would come down to that?

when i went for breakfast tacos this morning at the ass crack of ten a.m. i heard the talking heads on cnn going off about how the GOP was campaigning during the democratic national convention, which was only fair as the dems had done it during the republican convention.

big fucking deal – since when did this become a gentleman’s game?

what i don’t like is that more and more people seem to base their votes on their sunday rituals. not ihop – the place they went pre-ihop…church. that’s not the way to run a railroad. we’ve had some great leaders in the last century (roosevelt (both of ’em), ike, truman – notice despite my irish heritage i leave kennedy out ’cause…well…he actually kinda sucked from a political accomplishment standpoint. yeah, he got to fuck marilyn, but he also made it to where i have to pay three times retail and use code words to get cuban cigars from my local merchant…) but the crop we have to choose from now is pretty fuckin weak and watered-down compared to back then.

you’ve got obama, who seems to have lost some luster since 2008. yeah, he’s still “different” in the sense that he’s still “black” (well, half black – people always forget that from a genealogical standpoint he’s just as much white as he is black) but a lot of that “change” just ended up in our car’s cup holders, not so much in the way things went. of course, for anybody who paid attention in civics class you knew that half of what he said he was gonna do he didn’t have the power to do unless he was getting elected president, senator, and appointed to the supreme court all at the same time. THEN he could do that shit. but no way michelle’s letting his ass out of the house that much! (i should add i do have new found respect for her since the letterman interview).

then you’ve got romney, who might as well just put out signs that say “i know i’m mormon, but at least i’m not black and i hate abortion and war and non-christians!” and there we’d be. but that doesn’t fly. eastwood’s ramblings and bad notes on unemployment at GOPalooza in tampa (in his defense he’s mega-old and fairly out of touch having consistently worked in show biz for the last seventy years, and i had a certain giddy thrill knowing the GOParty was in the adopted home town of my first wife, who is a huge obama girl).

and then there’s ron paul, who is in my opinion the best call. fuck the whole age factor. it’s the presidency, not manipulating a car in rush hour. you’ve got advisers and staff and such – i think he’s the best call period. he has the best vision. he’s fun and quirky. for an old white boy he’s got the most alternative crowd behind him. the cool, hip people dig the shit out of him. that being said, he doesn’t have one of the two big parties behind him, and a third party hasn’t taken the crown since when exactly? so vote for him if you wish (i just might, actually) but know that if you’re watching the results in november all you’re gonna see is how big a dent he made, you’re not going to see him win.

you know it. i know it. all of america knows it.

third parties are good for one thing – fucking a major candidate. the last one that actually did anything was perot, who got clinton elected by splitting the conservatives with bush.

truth.

if ron paul does anything he’ll help mormon-ass romney win. and do we really want that? i’m not gonna lie – i might actually vote for obama this time around. why? ’cause i like what he’s done to fix the economy and get us out of the bullshit war that serves ZERO purpose but to drive up gas prices and further a corporate agenda? nope. but i don’t think romney would do any better, and obama keeps his religious views out of it. did he swear in on thomas jefferson’s koran which helped prompt conservative shits to write jefferson out history LITERALLY?

(a quick note on that – will future notes on the deceleration of independence say “author unknown”?)

is obama christian? does he go to church? does he support gay marriage? does he read the bible?

here’s where we all should stand on that – WHO GIVES A FUCK?!?!?

your minister/pastor/priest/wizard on sunday…you know…captain what’s his name…he needs to agree with your religious beliefs. and if he doesn’t, you can switch churches. there’s plenty of churches out there, because a CHURCH doesn’t have to represent the majority of americans and tackle world issues on the entire country’s behalf. there’s only ONE white house – and we need somebody who’s not gonna bash us over the heads with his beliefs and personal agenda, but rather try to do what’s right and fair for the bulk of us…just sayin’. sunday comes but once a week – and the government offices are still closed on that day for a reason – because where you spend your sunday is YOUR business, not that of the government. that being said, my “sunday” is actually wednesday, which has had enough of its morning wasted writing about this shit…just go vote, but do it with your head, not your faith.