strippers and coke and armadillos – oh my!

finally, some practical intellectual applications…

…’bout fucking time.

(and kramer, i KNEW the title would make you read this…sadly more for the inclusion of “armadillos” more than the other two.)

i remember doing a bit a while back making fun of al gore for winning the nobel prize simply for “bringing attention to global warming”. that’s ridiculous. i mean, pointing out the obvious gets you mad paid and global attention these days? seriously?

fine – the keyboard below you has dust and crumbs in it. check it out. see if i’m wrong. i’ll wait…

…see, i was right! pay my ass and put me on the news!

not typically practical shit that comes to light when this kinda thing goes down…but i have some for us now.

the ig nobel prizes are awarded by actual nobel prize winners and are actually put on by annals of improbable research magazine, which i think i may just have to subscribe to now…three things i learned from this article:

1. science can be fun
2. science can be practical
3. science can be old and still win

for example the prize for chemistry which discovered that coke products (and diet coke in particular) can be used as a spermacide. what you’re doing bathing your junk in diet coke i have no idea, but at least you know it can help curb a dumb ass like you from putting out more little dumb asses.

archaeology prize went to a group that disovered the armadillo, which is a burrowing animal, will in the course of setting up it’s home (which can be up twenty feet below the surface) will shuffle under ground artifacts up and down, hence giving the illusion that things found on digs are younger or older than they actually are.

and economics? that went to the genius that found that strippers make better tips when they’re ovulating…which proves we men are just big dumb animals after all. god bless science!