we’ve all had it happen…
…you just get the car washed, and *PLOP* – bird shit! and since saturday appears to be the day most of the world washes its cars, based on the line i just ducked out of at the car wash i go to (it’s just down the street from the shop – fuck it, i’ll go back monday) i figured i’d write a bit shane gave me for today.
but the other day shane had it happen in a new way – he was still IN the fucking car wash. one of those wash-it-yourself high pressure jobs. if you’ve ever used one you know you do laps around your car with the little wand washing your car and as you do the top part of the hose mount above your car spins around with you.
but at this particular car wash pigeons had started roosting in the top of it, so spinning around their home upset them…and to my knowledge pigeons only react to being upset one way – they take a shit.
oh hell, who are we kidding – pigeons really only do TWO things…fly and shit.
so shane’s not even done and the “white rain” starts on his roof. needless to say he was pissed. and as most do-it-yourself car washes are it was unmanned by staff to, say, refund your money ’cause the “residents” of your wash stall got upset and expressed themselves thusly.
my opinion? i think the pigeons were fucking planted there by the owners, which was kind of bright. i mean, think about it…you go in there, put money in for a full wash, get part way done and *PLOP* shit’s all over your car. are you gonna drive out of the car wash and down the street with a shiny car with some bird shit? no – you’re gonna do exactly what shane did – cuss a bunch, squirt their roost with the high pressure hose, than drive out of booth number four and back into booth number six of the same car wash, LOOK UP THIS TIME to make sure the coast is clear, than shovel in more quarters and wash your shit again! (no pun intended on that last line)
in many ways, if the pigeons WERE a plant like i suspect, that is fucking GENIUS!