i always get reflective around my birthday…
…for some people it’s new years, ’cause that starts a new calendar year…but i’m not a calendar. my first year of existence didn’t start in january, it started in june. and while some people see the spring as a new beginning or september as a new school year starts i’m neither a farmer nor a student so for me it’s june.
and harold’s move to hawaii, which also forced the relocation of the bbq next week, made me think about something – i need to dream again and make ’em happen.
when i was younger i wanted to work in sundance (this was junior high age, on into early high school)…than later in high school i wanted to be a club dj…and still later i wanted to do radio.
but i did all that…and then some…and it was all okay (admittedly radio was a bit more than just “okay”, although the pay sucked). i have no dreams left, save for winning the lottery. i accomplished all my career goals, and technically did it all before the age of thirty…so the last ten years have just been spent “dreamless” as far as my future is concerned – i’ve just been drifting in and out of jobs i didn’t really care for (save for my current one, which i really enjoy) and relationships that left me feeling unfulfilled in one way or another…like there were no dreams left, might as well just kill the time till i die kind of attitude.
that’s pretty fucked up.
so, i think i need to figure out where my life needs to take me – mentally, spiritually, geographically? who knows…but it’s time to put on the dreaming cap again and figure shit out…