me love you long time…with hot dogs?!?

the things i do to entertain you people, i swear…

…this one could have actually had legal ramifications. so, i go to do my grocery shopping monday night (per usual) at the HEB near the burnet shop (per usual) and as i’m walking out i spot this woman – leggy asian girl, wearing a tightly cinched up shin-length trench coat, but from beneath it you saw black fishnets and heels.

what was odd? a shin-length trench on a balmy, humid, eighty fucking degree night.

i put my stuff in the car and went BACK in the store to see what i could see. lap dances in the produce section? flashing around the condom rack? nope – just this…

she had just left produce and was now shopping for sausage. sure, there’s a joke there – but i never take the easy lay-up. and none of the produce was “tubular” in nature if you get what i’m saying and i think you do. no, i just realized she was most likely a strip club waitress that had to hit the store on the way home. a friend postulated she was a stripper when i told them about this pre-writing the bit, but as somebody who’s been there when a strip club closes (don’t judge – a friend used to date a dancer, as i have done a time or two along with waitresses, so you see the “real deal” when they bail in sweats and flip-flops and such) i recognize the waitress outfit (which is typically a tux shirt altered for maximum cleavage showage, and a very short black skirt with…you guessed it…black fishnet stockings).

on the upside she didn’t notice me looking for her, or taking the picture, so i didn’t get security called on me. thought we’d have a REALLY killer bit, instead we ended up with just a bit.

again, the things i do for you people…