turkey day venue sixer

most turkey day holiday shit is all about traditions…

…but after mom died in ’96 and then grandma went into a home in ’98 that whole “tradition” shit kinda went out the window. in the ensuing fifteen years my turkey day has gone six different ways (this wasn’t done for the bit since it’s a sixer and all…it really has) so i figured i’d show you how my holiday “tradition” spreads around:

6. grandma’s (version 2.0) – thankfully this only went one year, and was my uncle’s attempt at keeping the holiday “family vibe” going. it should be noted she was still alive, just not well enough to cook, and he didn’t think to get me and my sister involved, so he just bought the “pre-cooked” stuff from the store. the downside? he didn’t realized “pre-cooked” still required three hours of oven time (so we ate around 3:30 in the afternoon) and the smallest portions they made still yielded literally WEEKS of leftovers for the four of us.

5. hoover’s – this i kinda miss ’cause the menu was eclectic…you got fruit salad and interesting sides. down side? parking sucked (east austin – small lots – what are ya’ gonna do?) and the wait was usually an hour or so…grandma joined for the first couple of times, but the wait made this a no go for her. we still went a couple more times, but we got worn down…

4. threadgill’s – better parking, a bit pricier, and (surprisingly) a WORSE wait. by this point grandma had gone on to do the holidays with mom if you know what i’m saying and i think you do. this one lasted for almost a decade but towards the end there i was showing up a half hour ahead of everybody to get us on the list and minimize my uncle’s time standing around, as he has a bad hip. ended with…

midway side note – at one point my uncle, who has a bit of temper, snapped at me for leaving multiple messages on his answering machine trying to confirm a time for Christmas dinner, which pissed me off. so, the following year i left ONE message on his answering machine about thanksgiving. problem is, he has a cheapo 1990’s era answering machine he bought when he was getting calls where somebody would hang up as soon as he answered which he theorized (and still does) that it was the guy that knocked him down and took his wallet (out of his shirt pocket with multiple twenties hanging out of it) trying to see if he was home so he could “finish the job” – this was in 1991. he still swears they’ll be back, hence the shitty robotic answering machine. so it was full, and didn’t record my message. as he didn’t hear from me, he figured i had other plans and actually did thanksgiving WITHOUT ME and WITHOUT EVEN CALLING ME. he almost didn’t get a christmas that year, but he apologized. in the interim…

3. JAB’s folks – while this has been the “after party” on numerous occasions, dating back to the mid 1980’s when we used to go catch a movie to close out turkey day (most notably in 1988 when we went and saw U2’s rattle & hum – i still have the shirt from that) the year uncle arthur ditched me i was welcomed here with open arms, which was nice. it’s good to have family, even when they’re not related by blood. but they ain’t alone…

2. shane’s – don’t recall if i’ve done his current joint, but several “after parties” (i.e. the meal after the meal with uncle arthur and aunt david) was at his trailer out near lake mcqueeny. lots of booze, and the official opening of the holidays with a whiskey-fueled viewing of bad santa. probably the same for years to come ’cause…well…some traditions just shouldn’t die.

1. hill’s cafe – first year they made a killer impression. it’s one of those “turkey or ham” kinda places, but we got in kinda late so we got BOTH for the same price. and douple the pie (pecan AND pumpkin) just ’cause they needed to unload it, and there was no wait. this was also the first year they did it, so fewer people knew AND they made too much food for the crowd they got. last year i noticed the double up option was gone, and the crowd ran a bit thicker…still no wait, though. and it’s in SOUTH austin, where all the cool people are, and that makes it closer to the house…so you know where i was this year, too.