and the countdown begins

i had a bit (i thought) prepared for today…

…over a month ago. i found a weird piece, written in my grandmother’s handwriting, the first day we started on the house this year. i read it out loud. it brought a puzzled look from both me AND my sister. later conversations with my uncle lead us to believe she might have actually written it herself, making it all the cooler. i SWORE i put it one of the three boxes from when teri was down – but those have now been emptied, and it’s nowhere to be found.

weird shit.

so, i also found this – and as it’s computer printed i doubt she wrote it…but it fits today, as this makes one month till the juneteenth bbq…that’s right; only thirty swimsuit shopping days before the XL juneteenth bbq.

so, in that vain, we get this i found amongst grandma’s stuff:

just a line to say i’m living,
that i’m not among the dead
though i’m getting more forgetful,
and more mixed up in the head.

for sometimes i can’t remember
when i stand at foot of stair
if i must go up for something
or i’ve just come down from there.

and before the ‘fridge so often
my poor mind is filled with doubt
have i just put food away?
or have i come to take it out?

with my nightcap on my head,
am i retiring or just getting out of bed?

so if it’s my turn to write
there’s no need for getting sore.
i may think i’ve written
and don’t want to be a bore.

so remember, i do love you,
and wish that you were here
but now it’s nearly mail time,
so i must say “goodbye”, my dear.

there i stood beside the mailbox
with a face so very red
instead of mailing your letter,
i opened it instead…

lord, let me be ash in the air before my mind reaches that stage…