it’s worth the extra money to get the GOOD shit

yes, this is a drug entry…

…but just to put my cop friend’s at ease, it’s about totally LEGAL shit. and i don’t mean shit that’s just legal in cali – like even legal in texas kinda shit.

(sorry harold & shane – although we all know the title applies to “that”, too)

alexandra was a sickly girl – alex being my ex. she was allergic to pretty much everything airborne. only food allergy was shellfish. but dust? pet dander? both of which are constantly RAMPANT in my house (the former from the neighborhood being surrounded by fields full of dry, fine cotton dirt, the latter due to me having three dogs when she moved in and she making me adopt a fourth) were two of her biggest enemies (although after a few months of living here those allergies magically disappeared). pollen, mold, and what-not (which are all in the air more in this part of texas than…well…AIR is) were always killing her. as a result she always had pills and syrups and nasal sprays and shit around the house…and i noticed that much like shoes and bags she didn’t buy the cheap shit. if there was two dollar nasal spray and eighteen dollar nasal spray we just HAD to have the eighteen dollar shit. being a guy who’s been to the doctor all of TWICE since bill clinton got elected the FIRST time (and one of those two was for a bullshit doctor’s note just so i could have a stand-up workstation at dell) i always saw this as a waste of money…

…and still kinda do, but for different reasons.

i eat like shit. i drink more than i should. i have a twenty-year cigar habit that i have no plans on slowing down on (never touched a cigarette, though). and yet i NEVER get sick. why? because when i started doing low-carb religiously back in 2k3 i noticed it took a LOT longer for me to heal cuts and scrapes (and, more importantly tattoos) so i did some research and found a multi-vitamin was needed to put the nutrients in your body the diet lacked…so i did. and prior to that rampant dental issues (those, sadly, continue – thanks, genetics) i started on high doses of echinacea to combat oral infections (the leading cause of toothaches) which, as a wonderful side effect, boosts my immune system through the roof. as a result when the nicaraguan pitri dish i was engaged to for a while would come home with the flu or strep throat or whatever else she had picked up at the office i could take care of her, kiss her good-night, sleep in the same bed with her, and NEVER get sick. i also never picked up stuff and brought it home from the office, which she didn’t realize was a factor until we split up, she went out and got a place with some girls, and INSTANTLY started to get sick all the time again, which hadn’t happened since she lived in miami…

…so i guess living with me ain’t that bad a deal after all. moving on…

because of my somewhat iron-clad immunity system i get sick so seldom that when mold counts went through the roof (yes, i actually know when this will happen thanks to central texas being so allergy rich it’s part of the weather report) i was down for the count for most of the week. still a little sniffly…’cause i bought the TWO DOLLAR nasal spray. and no other pills. why? ’cause i dug through the medicine cabinet and found all kinds of the high dollar shit, all of which expired anywhere from may 2007 (ironically the month me & alex split) through september 2009…but nothing beyond that; and it was then that i realized that this was the first time in the almost four years since we split that i felt sick enough to feel like i needed to TAKE something instead of just my usual “it’ll pass in a day or so” diagnosis (which is accurate more times than not, i should add).

so for any dell folk that still read me all those sick days in 2k7, 2k8, and the first month of 2k9 weren’t days i was “sick”, just “sick of dell”. so there we go…

…so for all that get ill more often than once a presidential term spend the money, buy the good stuff, and you’ll feel better. i know it was great the one time i was sick back when alex was around (i think that was 2006 when that happened). for me? i’ll stick to echinacea, multi-vitamins, whiskey, and cigars – hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!