i’m by no means a gun nut, but this was sent to me, is hella funny, and at the same time logically makes sense that it would work…
FROM THE NRA:
HOW TO INSTALL THE NEW HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14 -16 work boots
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads….Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls — they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS – I locked all four of em in the house. Better wait outside.