should we go long than short?
…yeah, let’s do that.
the money bit
a couple months ago over dinner i had no cash, so my buddy gives me his part and i do it on the card…when i do, i do what i always do – i tipped well, but i rounded up so it was an even dollar amount – and he went OFF on me!
dude, what the fuck? why are you leaving an eight dollar and eighteen cent tip? just so you can round the ticket up to an even amount? check your bank balance – it’s NEVER an even amount…why the fuck would you make her dig eighteen fucking cents out of the register behind the bar or whatever? just make it an even eight bucks and be done with it – it’s not like your bank balance is even!
so, ever since, i tried really hard to make sure i round EVERYTHING to even amounts, and now…
check it, folks – an even bill. this is one of several WEEKS where it’s been even, but i just wanted to share this with my friend, who DOES occasionally read this site, to see that yes, motherfucker, my balance IS typically even…
…it’s just never that high.
the beer bit
in my defense, while i DID get my degree in journalism (which was rechristened “mass communication” a mere semester before i graduated, so that’s what’s on my degree), they didn’t teach how to shoot with a camera phone from a moving car with the top down. or maybe they did in the print classes, but i was in broadcasting. anywho, i was on my way into austin on memorial day i saw this on the side of the road:
it’s a bud truck – on the side of the road. and if you look where i kinda circled on the right you can see the sheriff i circled, you just don’t see his car with the lights a’blazing. this is the road i wrote about previously and he was one of the casualties of the lower speed limit…or possibly a casualty of calling yourself a “true american beer” when you’re now owned by a german beer consortium. either way, he was busted…and i KINDA got the shot for your amusement!