the insurance chronicles, part ii

this was gonna be a rant and a half originally…

…but then came my three minutes of house arrest today (wednesday) and now not so much.

i went on a breakfast taco run last saturday that resulted in my first fender bender (or accident of ANY kind) in the last fifteen years or so. some of you may have already read that i only recently got insurance, which i suppose now turns out to be a good thing. time will tell on that shit.

(and why the fuck did nobody tell me the bit got posted with only ONE sentence? took almost a WEEK for ME to point it out to me this morning? what the fuck?)

anywho, so i went to get breakfast tacos and ended up in the row of spots where the drive-thru traffic loops right behind them so you typically have to wait a bit to back out. i went to back out and saw nothing but tahoe in my rearview mirror. parked behind me, perpendicular to my car. i looked to the left to see a car backing out a few spaces down from me and, i suppose, this guy saw it as courteous to block me in (with backup lights already on) so that this person could back out? but apparently the fucker started eating his breakfast while waiting ’cause i watched the car down from me back out, go across the sizable parking lot, get on the street, and drive away. looked in my rearview mirror – still nothing but tahoe. was JUST about to tap my horn and he moved, so i let my foot off the brake only to feel an old familiar bump from behind.

fuck me.

the person BEHIND the tahoe wasn’t so yield courteous and, while sitting in my blind spot so i had no idea she was there, coasted in behind me so i backed out of my space and gently tapped bumpers with her. think about the same impact of when you’re parallel parking and accidentally tap the car behind you as you’re centering yourself in the space. yeah, about THAT hard.

she freaked.

i get out and expect to see little to no damage – and i was right. i later saw a little more on my car (paint that will come off next time i get it washed – a spot about the size of a silver dollar) but had pictures i took while homegirl wrote down my info that showed she had ZERO damage to her car…

…or so i thought.

apparently there’s a little clip that connects her bumper to the wheel well (plastic tab) that got broken. and some light scraping on the bumper. i didn’t know this until the adjuster came to take pics of my car for the file (said i needed to be home between 9:30am and 12pm, showed up at 9:33am – hence the “three minutes of house arrest” comment earlier). for all that, i now have an “accident” on my insurance policy, further raising my rates (i’m sure) for any future policies i decide to get (which i will now have to as the state has me on that $250 per year plan for the next three fucking years).

fuck this lobby-fed government of ours and all the insurance scams and bullshit…i’m moving to ireland.