whore bit bell grande

i think i’ve told this one before…

…but i could be wrong.

(anybody who knows me knows i tend to repeat a story or two from time to time)

so, there’s a taco bell commercial running in heavy rotation for their new “beefy five layer burrito” where the guy ordering thinks he’s getting the “hook up” since he’s getting the 550 calorie bohemith for less than a dollar…which is still more than i used to pay.

early in our collegiate career JAB worked down on 6th street and at least once a week i’d roll with him and we’d go grab dinner…as we were college kids, that was always fast food – typically taco bell.

one day we went in and there was a new counter girl – she was…um…not small. whatever the current preferred nomenclature is for a girl that’s the polar opposite of “petite”, apply that term. i ordered my usual taco bell order, which at the time was “three chicken soft tacos, no pico, and a large pepsi”

(around four bucks back then, which was around 1993 or so, unless you were in an airport than it was more like seven bucks, but that’s another story…)

so i go to get my tray when my number’s called, expecting to see my three neatly wrapped tacos only to see three neatly wrapped tacos AND a huge orders of nachos.

“i didn’t order this”, i tell the girl behind the counter (we’ll call her “ellen” for shits and giggles) and she responds with a coy smile and a wink followed by “i know, baby…it’s cool”.


so i go sit down, eat my tacos, and me & JAB split the nachos. i wasn’t charged for ’em, so fuck it.

the next week we go back, same order, but this time there’s the three neatly wrapped tacos AND a huge orders of nachos AND a mexican pizza. same response from me, same response from her, and me & JAB couldn’t even finish it all.

the next week JAB just ordered a mountain dew, but no food. i ordered my usual, paid my usual, and we both ate for four bucks total…but after a couple weeks of this the hook-up, along with ellen, disappeared. found out from the new counter GUY that she had been fired for giving away food…i guess that’s the way some big girls flirt.