ready…aim…DISH NETWORK HERE WE COME!!!

death is always tragic…

…but why is it death in a trailer park seems to always be hillarious?

at press time no charges have been filed against the missouri man who shot his wife in the chest while she stood outside their trailer. the reason? was it infidelity? he found out they actually weren’t related?

nope – he wanted the nfl network.

he, like me, is a “do it yourself”er. but he, unlike me, has suck-ass tools (which i didn’t think was legal if you lived in a trailer). as a result, he was having some trouble punching through the exterior wall to run the cable for the dish, so he used the one thing he knew would clear through the inpentrable fortress that is today’s double wide – a handgun.

and he sent his wife out in the yard to shout in when he was successful – i guess the laser beam of daylight shooting through (no pun intended) the wall and lighting up the porceline unicorns his wife collects wouldn’t clue him in.

BANG!

one shot – but she didn’t shout back that he had cleared through, so he fired a second time to make sure…

BANG!

shot number two rang out, with no response. he went out to see why she hadn’t called back in – and it ends up shot one cleared the wall and nailed his wife (/cousin/sister/???) in the chest. she was pronounced dead when the paramedics arrived.

no word on whether he will be charged, or whether or not the dish network will still honor his “free hbo for three months” coupon as it expired the day he attempted to install, but family tragedy postponed completion.