that tiger didn’t go crazy…that tiger went TIGER!

okay, let’s not mince words…

…tiger woods is not the first guy to cheat on his wife. he’s not the first black man to chase after white women. hell, he’s not the first celebrity to crash his escalade in the middle of the night running from his wife, the cops, or some drunken delusion…or a combination of any of the above.

so what’s the big fucking deal?

he had a mistress or two (or twelve). they all happened to be white girls. have you seen his wife? she’s one, too…so at least if you ever see him in a strip club and wanna buy the brother a lap dance you know his type and what the girl you send over should look like – this really isn’t all that bad.

he lost a consulting firm as a sponsor already…’cause we all know wall street folks have some SERIOUS fucking scruples and morals. how’s that government bailout going? do you actually do the transfer like i have to do with my unemployment money or does the government just cut checks directly to your bentley and cesna dealers?


now two other sponsors are threatening to pull out (pun VERY intended) and i think it would be ill advised. the two on the fence now are gillette and at&t. let’s look at these.

at&t is the conglomeration of the bell family of telephone stuff. southern bell, pacific bell, southwestern bell – those folks. remember their age-old ad slogan?

reach out, reach out and touch someone…

tiger just did what you asked all those years. you asked more than once…he touched more than once. what’s the problem?

as for the gillette thing – what, are you kidding me? have you seen these women? they are all WELL groomed (and i’ve seen pics of a few to see how far some of them take it). if anything he’s helping move MORE of your product – faces aren’t the only thing that look good clean shaven, by god!

hell, nike’s already tailored their campaign to work with his new image:

so lighten up, corporate america. as i said, other celebrities will fuck up, fuck others, and fuck around – and you’ll still fucking pay them, so let it go. if anything should be learned from this by his sponsors it’s that tiger woods, like those of us who buy their products, is just human – plain and simple.

i’ll tell you what i learned from this…

…did you listen to that 911 call? how the caller sounded HEE-HAW level redneck? wonder how that fucker came to live next to tiger woods? i’ll fuckin’ tell you – the motherfuckin’ lotto. straight up. there’s simply no other explanation. tiger got in the neighborhood from hitting eighteen holes, that fucker made it picking six fucking numbers.

i think i need to go buy a ticket!

but you CAN have too much of a good thing…eighteen holes got tiger in that neighborhood – but it looks like hitting another nine might get him out of it!

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  • sean Dec 16, 2009 @ 18:13

    It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

    Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today.”

    Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.”

    Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”

    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.”

    Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.”

    Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

    Teacher: “Who said ‘I Have a Dream’?”

    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, “Martin Luther King.”

    Teacher: “That’s right Mary, you can go.”

    Johnny is even madder than before.

    Teacher: “Who said ‘Ask not, what your country can do for you’?”

    Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, “John F. Kennedy.”

    Teacher: “That’s right Nancy, you may also leave.”

    Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

    When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, “I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!”

    The teacher turns around: “NOW WHO SAID THAT?”


    thanks to la tina for emailing that in…this entry needed that!

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